Gram Nake

It really does go down in the DM!! I witnessed this ish live, for real. Them DM's provide a platform for proper powder hey!! These thirsty bitches stay ready to get launched like they're on standby.


This past weekend we were celebrating my boi's bday and this bday boi is TOO ungovernable!! Anyways, so we had to do best by organising booty for him since down was touching down from outta town. We've got this homie of ours who's always doing best with providing buttocks!! I used to do best with that task but now this homie has gladly taken up the ranks. I call him the Gram Sniper and all his Instagram hoes I refer to as Gram Grams!! I always imagine him dropping some straight forwards lines when he's launching them coz there's so much booty on The Gram so he can't afford to be delaying with powder. He nees to spray them bullets of love like a machine gun on some (bombs in the DM) "let's not play these games!! I likes ya, and I wants ya. We can do this the easy way or the hard way". And you know bitches love attention so they will standard respond!! Personally, if it were me I would just straight up be on some (my bombs in the DM) "is there any reason why I can't capture your buttock?? I mean, I am just a wounded boy from the village, I ain't come with no milk, no cookies!! Nothing. But I likes ya and I wants ya". Any reasonable Gram Gram would surely throw that pussy at me like I just dropped some R&B.


Social media has really changed the game though. This other weekend my friend was busy showing me all the buttocks he had captured via Tinder!! Homeboy was showing me the nudes these shorties sent him and I had to match the profiles with them titties on some "nigga, you ain't never lied a day in yo life!! This some real shit right here". I mean, i'm from the village so booty isn't as accessible as it is with these apps!! I am still throwing pebbles at shorty's windows just to catch their attention. The struggle is real fam!! While niggas are outchea in the big city doing the most.


Anyways, so as we're busy celebrating with bday boi this past weekend when Gram Grams turned up not only looking fly than a motherfucker, but also in numbers like it's a party, party, paaaarday!! I've never felt so much joy. When cyber booty turns into flesh it's the most beautiful phenomena between nature and technology!! And the thing about accessible booty is that you can choose it like you're picking a food menu. Fam, the one Gram Gram even brought her Alaskan friend with and she seemed fascinated to be around so many bolacks. I won't lie, I think every bolack guy there wanted a piece of that pork chop just to cheat on our staple diet!! Either way, there was plenty of food to go around so we could all feast. Plus the Gram Grams actually put out hey!! It's not like they were just there to tickle balls and get 'likes'. Plenty of homies came right by getting to poke, poke!! The Gram Grams are the future i'm telling you.


I think I was actually the only one there who didn't feast properly though. I tried to nibble on a piece of meat but bday boi decided to be greedy and grab my piece out of my hand so I got over that mean - I decided he could keep it shem. I am sure I have told you before about how I have a 100% rate with kissing girls every time I walk with them to the bathroom neh?? Well, that's exactly how I managed to win with the one broad who was with within the squad but the bday boi was so ungovernable that he lunged into her right after I had kissed her, and even worse, it happened while I was still speaking to her. I am mid speech with this shorty while this predator comes out of nowhere fam!! This guy is such a savage he was kissing busy like 6 broads and they were all pretty much entertaining him!! He was there like *Rhaaa!! Panda, panda, panda, panda*


I was never ready with my slow powder. Bday boi came out to massacre the whole squad with bullets of love!! At some stage all I could think was how much I envy his envy. Bitches love that wild shit!! Any female who open her mouth in site, bday boi was ready to lunge. And the thing is, he lunges for like 3secs and then he goes and finds positions himself for another broad to lunge on!! Dude was on form shem. When I grow up I want to be like him!! It taught me a lot about bitches. You need to have energy and catch these hoes off guard!! They should be kept on their toes the whole time not knowing what it is you're going to do next. And you dominate all of them and watch them all chase you like pigeons!! Mxim, I am actually bitter coz bday boi was living and I just didn't have the energy that he had. In retrospect, maybe he was on something that I wasn't on!! Lol. Lemme not sound like a hater coz I was genuinely happy for the boi!! That's how bday's should be spent.


By the end of the night so many of us were wounded though!! We spent R15K at predrinks before the club and another R15K at the club. By the time the bill at the club came, okes were pretending to be passed out, some were pretending to chunder and others threw themselves into fights and came back with torn shirts!! You would be amazed at how far people are willing to go when they see flames with the bill. All of a sudden niggas is narcoleptic and shit!! Smdh. Others probably even left the fly tasties we were busy chilling with for ugly fat bitches somewhere in the club, just to save themselves from any embarrassment!! Next thing a nigga is waking up the next morning with poor decisions next to them on the bed, just because the bill was too steep. Unfortunately, one of us decided to take most of the weight on their should and even the ones who helped with the remaining balance were still coughing out quite a lot so it was just a mess.


Eventually we took a convoy of 3 cabs to one of the homie's apartments which was just a few streets down the road from the club and even then we still paid ridiculous amounts (so that was yet another poor decision). In fact, once we all arrived at the apartment we realized that we still want food so one of the cabs did missions for us to order pizza for the squad!!


All in all, it was a very epic night filled with lots of drama and comedic stunts. The vibe continued for 3days but we shall save that for another day!! Lol #WoundedBoyFromTheVillage