Disposable Niggas

You can never truly figure out women but this is my wounded analysis of what I think:

When you walk in a room where you're meeting women for the 1st time, you will fall under 1 of 3 categories as far as impressions go: either you will be 'That Guy' (this is the dude who women aren't really into but are curious of), or you will be frienzoned straight away (no one wants to fall into this forsaken trap) or most favorably you'll be considered the honorary 'Bae' (this that nigga who can fuck up as many times as he wants but it don't matter coz he has immunity).

Now, don't get it twisted, i'm just a wounded boy from the village so I very seldom find myself playing the role of bae namsayin!! I am more of a 'That Guy' type of nigga *Rick Ross Huh*. I try my utmost to avoid being friendzoned by being forward but even that ain't definitive!! This is how I perceive it: women have always been telling me how they can tell whether or not they like a guy just from the moment they see him for the 1st time!! So my male-logical-self has always been like "TF BS is that"?? Some females would even go as far as saying that she knew the nigga was "bae" from the moment she saw the nigga's shoes he was wearing!! Real Talk fam, these bitches is cray.

I've always said that girls are much bigger perverts (translation: thirst) than guys, it's just that guys make it way more obvious!! When a hot chick with a phat ass walks into the room, you'd swear there was a sudden heat wave that leaves all of them niggas in there seem parched. Like these niggas aren't too sure whether they're seeing actual booty or a mirage!! However, with bitches though, them bitches will hide their reactions (or at least try) like a nigga who needs to take a shit but is too embarrassed because he is surrounded by tasties. So, what girls will do (eventually) is position themselves close enough to that nigga who will inadvertently tap - all a nigga saw was ass arriving on a silver platter so he followed his instincts and by that I mean balls. You may need to be cautious though because chances are you'll get those cray bitches like that girl who decided to crash in bae's bed (without him knowing) while he was out clubbing!! These fiends are ungovernable.

So, this is basically how I gathered that most girls are just stupid so I shouldn't take rejection too personally!! I mean, you get theee most 'unmatched' couples on earth (on some beauty & the beast tip) and you realize it doesn't all come down to that niggas donkey kong. There are actual qualities and attributes that these females find in these chimpazee's!! Here I was thinking women are shallow but it turns out they're actually quite deep.

The saddest part to this whole ordeal is with these niggas who force issues and end up playing "rebound boo's"!! When a girl is clearly still obsessed with someone else but yo punkass decides to come in and absorb her thirst instead of quenching it. I mean, these guys ignore all the signs and use money (or whatever form of persistence) to win bitches who were NOT initially into them. What are the signs you may ask?? Well, 1st of all if you're always the one texting and all she does is reply, I got news for you bro!! Yo ass is disposable. That bish wanted a Bentley but settled for a Chrysler 300 but that's none of my business!!  

These other girls were telling me the other day that they try to abuse niggas whom they don't really like financially (which makes sense) but it don't really matter how much is spent on them with the bae's!! Now, my 1st response to that was "bitch, why you lying?? Ya'll are always trying to get splurged on!! It don't matter to you whether it's by Bae, BEE or Boo, ya'll just consume". But nah, these bitches were adamant that isn't the case!! So i'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Once they take the wifey role they'll actually become reasonable!!

So this now brings us to who you should actually settle with!! I've got hectic trust issues so please mind me and my 2c. For me, it has always been about test driving the booty and then only after you decide whether to capture it or not!! Like, you may just be fooling around with your "main squeeze" and then suddenly (((BOOM))) it hits you. Like "you know what, this is actually not a bad hoe!! She cooks, she gives me sleeps and she devoted etc."!! I don't know, whatever floats your boat.

Careful though because your grievances won't stop there, you still have her ex bae's to worry about!! Those niggas should remain a threat till the death of you. Them niggas can Waltz back into that booty like they're doing the cha-cha 4real!! The problem with women is, once she sets her eyes on booty, she throws in her heart, mind and soul 4real. Even before the booty has been approved (as in consented). It is now your obligation to claim whatever is left and make sure that them niggas don't return to bargain with whatever you think you may or may not have!!

There is zero absolute way of capturing booty but PLEASE, at least avoid being a "rebound boo". That's my 2cents and i'm sticking to it #WoundedBoyFromTheVillage

Silly Bish

Hahaha, why can't girls just be honest!!

There's this tasty i'm always hollering at when I go to the gym because she works at that mall. Now, this girl is the definition of a yum yum!! Her lips are Meagan Goode, her body is something like "yea neh" and she's yellow like a castard. Basically, this girl is a distinction on a scale of 1-10 (8-10)!!

Anyway, so this girl is always telling me how crazy I am on whatsapp which has me believe she wants to play with my balls. Also, every time I bump into this chick (there at the mall) I'm always coming from gym with sweaty balls. I was always reluctant to give her a hugs but she would always be insisting like fat bitches do (fat bitches love hugs like they have flavour in them, but that's none of my business). So now, every time I bump into her I go iiiiinnnn on them hugs like an African man greeting an Alaskan (I even treat myself to a handful of buttock)!! Mind you, it's still a taboo around these here streets for a young woman to be seen holding hands with bae, let alone him grabbing that yum yum's bum bums.

So on Monday I bumped into this chick on my way to the supermarket as per usual. I did the usual bear-hug-and-bum-squeeze-greeting and requested she escorts me inside to purchase my Mageu!! But now bish came with excuses that she's in a hurry and she needs to be somewhere so i'm like cool, whaRever bish.

It probably took me 2mins from when I separated with her and next thing I see her again outside, walking towards me with another chimpanzee!! My initial response was "how do you mean". To make matters worse, this chimpanzee was another version of me (tall, dark and skinny) but of course he had a zero missing tooth. Fuck, at least if the nigga was light-skin I would be less phased coz he would've Draked her towards me!! But now, this dark-skin makoya seemed to be focused so I needed to be worried. I felt like approaching him on some "ey guy, wonchu let a nigga see how that piece of meat rides" and he can pass that dish because us dark-skin niggas are civilized like that (unlike Chris Brown and Drake).

Anyway, so as they approach nearer I avoid eye-contact and sip through my Mageu like it's none of my business when this bish decides to slap my skinny ass as she walks past!! Bruh, this chekita had zero chill. I don't think that nigga was aware of what his bitch had just done!! Nigga, she pulled a quick one like a ninja whilst that dude was busy walking with her like he was Denzel. Poor dude was fast asleep!!

The thing about this girl is I don't understand why she can't just come clean and inform me about her nigga(s)!! I feel like I have a right to know since she's always allowing me to marinate her on whatsapp. She owes me that much since she's always leading me on!! I am yet to take this girl out because she's always 'busy' but if she carries on like this i'll have to abort the mission and move onto the next one #WoundedBoyFromTheVillage