So, the other day I was waiting on an Uber to take me to my friend's bday celebration when I noticed that the Uber driver is a black shorty!! When I 1st sassed her out on the app picture she already looked appealing so I was like "SCORE". I ain't een know they had them like that so I was very surprised (I even did they Riley Booty Dance to express my joy)!! I just told myself that when this Uber arrives i'ma spray bullets of love and drop bombs like it's a suicide up in this bitch (she was never ready)!! Best believe I had intentions of an extremist.
Anyways, so the Uber eventually arrives and I get straight to it with the small talk!! It's easy enough to flirt with waitresses so now picture hollering at a random shorty whom you are rolling with in the car, solo, like you're cruising down the boulevard - I swear it felt like Christmas.
Our destination was not that far even so I knew I had to make sure that I am not wasting time with all this gun powder but bring out the proper bullets which fire like an Uzzi. I told her i'm from outta town and asked where does she recommend I go on the weekend and all that!! From her answers I noticed that this one likes things and I just so happened to have a digital flyer (for the Red Bull events) on my phone. She was keen!! I sent it to her on her Whatsapp and just like that I was in like it's a robbery *rubs hands like Birdman*!! Shorty then drops me at my destination and I'm thinking "I have already scored digits before I even arrive to the jam!! Tonight's going to be a good night".
Anyways, a couple of days go by so now i'm going through my Whatsapp trying to organize booty stock for a friend's braai. So I come across this Uber shorty but i'm like "nah, she can chill for now". Timing is everything plus I can't be inviting an Uber driver to secluded vibes!! My people will ask too many questions (especially the girls who know me). I hardly know this bitch, like chill fam!! Holler at them other shorties.
Fast forward a couple days later when I notice this Uber chick's Whatsapp dp and she's posing with another delicious broad who looks younger, and looks like she baths in buttermilk. The type of yum yum that you decide you will not pull out even if her man walked in because you already decided you would be going balls deep from the moment you saw her. I swear I had already had my arsenal ready and my only intention was to empty those chambers of love all over that ass!! Now I need to drop a Whatsapp at this Uber chick.
I could've tried to waste time with gun powder but I was like fuck this shit, lemme grab a semi-automatic real quick. Mind you, this is the 1st time I have hollered at her since she dropped the last time!! So your boi is like "hey, who is that shorty you are with on your dp!! She's such a Bad Bad". Shorty responds with "Lol, that's my lil cousin"!! So I responded with "word?? Well, she can get it shem. What are ya'll doing this weekend??" And then she blue ticks me (at the time of writing this she still hasn't responded).
I ain't sweating this whole getting blue ticked thing coz I know my job is done. I was bold so now I am 'that guy' to her!! She may as well change my name to "Deez Nuts" coz now she knows your boi has zero chill. All I need to do now is let the marinade simmer while I decide what I would like to put on the plate when I finally decide to start the grill for this flame!! Trust me, I know what I am doing.
The thing with these broads is they are used to all these guys coming through with proper gun powder!! These guys will take their time, find cover, pour gun powder straight down the barrel, throw one bullet in, poke, and aim at one target!! Me, i'm trigger happy suhn. I've got so much ammunition I just want to go straight onto the field and spray bullets simultaneously and aim recklessly!! I am zero taking cover and I ain't about all this primitive shit. In this day and age there are way too many targets waiting to be taken down so you need to spread them bullets of love as effectively as you can!! This is how it is supposed to be #WoundedBoyFromTheVillage #BulletsOfLove #UberBooty
