So, apparently you will get the biggest culture shock when
clubbing in between Joburg and Lagos.
When Joburg niggas go to clubbing in Lagos, the women there will
approach you, no matter even if it is not your birthday!! A cute-ass shorty
will come there to you, looking all sexy and shit, leading the conversation like
it’s an interview and then all of a sudden.. BOOM!! She wants you to “appreciate”
her?? That time you’re confused on some, “oh, what?? You want this D now” and
she’s like “nah nigga, I just want straight cash. I don’t do e-Wallets”. Like, a
nigga won’t be able to comprehend what kind of exchange involving 2 opposite
sexes, which requires you to give her cash without her getting your dick wet!!
Like, “hol’ up bitch, for what now?? All you said to me was that I look like a
warrior. You can’t expect me to give you cash for just tickling my balls!! At
least allow me to just insert the tip”.
But this is Lagos ma nigga. And there they don’t play like
that!! A random woman will just come to you, looking all fine and shit, strike
a conversation, and leave you with your tale between your legs like Merry
Christmas. They call these “runs” that side!! I guess it’s an appropriate word
for when your money gets taken from you and the booty gets away. Shit is too
real!! You better pray she had on some nice perfume coz that’s the only thing
you will be appreciating. No grabbing of ass cheeks, no kiss, no booty,
nothing!! You may as well even forget about how she boasted your ego earlier by
calling you a “warrior”. That shit faded like a gay person’s compliment (to a
straight guy) - there’s nowhere were this is going!!
Now, take the other example of a Lagos nigga in Joburg!!
These niggas are something else and they are actually “blessing” Joburg
culture. A nigga will go up to a flame up in the club and drop stacks on a
shorty just to “appreciate” her. Now, Joburg girls will be so excited about the
cash that she’ll be on some “you want this booty daddy??”, feeling all obliged
and shit but this dirty motherfucker will just be on some “NAH, nooo, eeeuuuww,
what’s wrong with you?? Put that booty away!! I am just appreciating you. No
need for you to behave in such an undignified manner”. Girls in Jhb be living
like everyday is Christmas suhn!! This Blesser culture has them tripping yo.
Why do you think so many of them lurk around clubs all day everyday?? Because
they get “appreciated” like tax, that’s why. Like they are worth something yet
all they do is breathe. Ma nigga, they don’t een need to shake their asses or
nothing!! Homies from Lagos be like, “I’ma pop these bottles, just for you;
Drop some pocket-change stacks, just for you; Organize a lift home, just for
you; And take you shopping soon, just for you.” That time, this nigga has never
een seen her drop on her kness and show her tonsils!! I swear these guys are
the reason why they girls are so stuck up and too damn spoilt. You can’t even
buy a Streetwise 2 (maybe even faka an extra piece) in exchange for booty no
more!! The game done changed.
Ma nigga, Lagos niggas in Jhb are actually the messiahs!!
Thanks to them, women have been empowered. And the thing is, they don’t even
drink!! So they go to the club, call shorties up, and sponsor a Turn Up (which
they are technically not part of). All they want is for these girls to have fun
and that’s what makes them happy!! No asking girls to kiss each other or
nothing. No motor-boat action on them big ol’ titties like someone is drowning!!
Or what, ooh, ooh, ooh, my personal favourite, no asking them to bend over like
yoga and make that booty clap like saggy tits. Basically, anything these girls
do in their VIP circle, is just a courtesy.
What I have concluded is that Lagos men are actually the
real MVP’s!! They don’t expect anything in return and they just give, give,
give for free. None of this, “bitch, remember that one time I opened the door
for you and your friend?? Now you both owe me sex. And I want a threesome”!! This
approach can actually help defeat the rape culture which has been haunting
society for so long. Don’t think if you spend money on random women without
getting shit in return, that it’s a robbery. Niggas need to start changing
their mentality and start “appreciating”!! Spend that money on random girls and
do not expect anything in return. If a girl comes to you from across the room,
with her fake hair and her wounded accent and she just wants to ‘chat’, then as
a guy you are duty-bound to take her to the salon (so she can have her own hair)
and pay her school tuition as well. At the end of the day, it’s all about “appreciating”
as many women as possible to make the world a better place
#WoundedBoyFromTheVillage
