Mmm, she WANTS

Can't afford to let the booty get away:

I have this tradition of walking to pick n' pay to buy Mageu at the shopping complex where I attend gym, right after my sessions.

So today as i'm walking passed Ocean Busket when I see this fine yum yum sitting there chillin all by her ace. This one was looking tasty like a sample. Now, usually I go by the 10sec rule and just go there straight to holler!!

On the way to Pick n' Pay i'm thinking "no man, maybe I should just go for this booty coz if she's still sitting there on her ace when I return, i'm going iiinnn like a Jehova's Witness!!". Plus now i'm even thinking I should just repeat what I was initially going to ask her!!

Here's the problem with exceeding the 10sec rule: you basically begin to doubt yourself!! I'm busy reciting (in my head) what i'm going to say to shorty and the more I do that the more stupid it sounds. As a result i'm starting to doubt myself like "nigga, you's is whack!!".

So anyway, there I was approaching shorty, sipping my banana flavoured Mageu and bumping music off my earphones. Then i'm on some *wait for it.. This the shit I had planned on saying all along* "hey, is your significant other joining you anytime soon?!" so bish is like "lol, nah" (now that the nerves have gone with Boko Haram so niggah i'm going iiinnn).

Fam, this shorty was practically laughing at everything I was saying from there on!! I hit her with the "i'm not from around here" and I could tell her pussy juices started leaking like a pipe burst. Then I knew she WANTS!!

I could tell she's also thinking I must be a very delicious specimen and she's looking forward to playing with my balls. She gave me her number so now all I need to do is whatsapp her so that I can give her my babies #ForTheBabies #ShortyNiceLikeAmaSpice #3rdWorldProblems #TryntaGetItYaBish #WoundedBoyFromTheVillage

Open Letter To The Bitches

So it's Women's Day today:

1st and foremost, fuck you for giving us blue balls you selfish, inconsiderate, counterfeit heaux!! You can't lead someone on only to change your mind last minute. The minute you take your clothes off means you are liable for breaching our contract. Moist balls after convincing you to take your clothes off SHALL be absolute!!

You need to lose the weave coz ain't nobody got time for that. Not only do men HATE (or more accurately abhor) weaves, you expect us to pay for that shit!! I'm already paying way too much for that loose pussy of yours, now I have to pay extra for your superficial bullshit as well?! This some other hustle. I'd much rather pay tax for eTolls and Nkandla!!

So let me get this straight, if I approach you by exposing how much you mean to me and how much I care for you, your immediate response is to friendzone me?! That is your way of showing appreciation?? Bitch, you better throw the pussy at me one time.

Where are your ethics?? You can't leave looking all good n shit - going out to the clubs on your periods, only to have guys splurging on you and taking you home. Next thing a nigga thinking he bout to get ass only to find you be trippin'!! Smdh. You should've recused yourself from the moment a nigga started offering drinks. Why did you declare yourself fit?? Then you must finish the game

We appreciate all the considerate, caring and honest women out there!! We love you and wish you a happy Women's Day #ForTheBabies #BootyIsMoreImportantThanFoodAndWater #WoundedBoyFromTheVillage